Space 1999 - 30th Anniversary Edition Megaset (17 DVDs)

The creators of Space 1999 must think I'm stupid. We didn't go into deep space in 1999 and have hot retro women wearing sexy spacesuits. Still it's a fun Tv show. And you can watch it all with this anniversary set. 17 DVDs for just $54.99.

It costs you more then that to get your wife all liquored up and in the mood, so what the shit.

[Space 1999 Set]

8" Retro Musical Spaceship with Christmas Snowman Robot

It's a spaceship, it's musical, it has a snowman robot in it! It can't get anymore friggin awesome my sci-fi loving nerdly friends. Just $39.99. If I get one it will go in the wife's stocking. Her stockings are huge and bulging with cellulite.

[UFO with Snowman Robot]

Marvel Encyclopedia

I mostly watch Superhero movies and read comic books to quiet the sound of the wife in my ears. Sometimes I pretend that I'm the hulk, or Captain America and I stand up to her. No, I won't take the trash out! You vacuum the floor! Your 500 pounds of hydraulic rape will no longer enslave me!


Too bad it usually ends with me crying on the floor after she's had a go at my balls. Anyhow, this 400 page Marvel book should keep you from hearing your wifes voice for at least a few hours. It spans the entire Marvel history and features all of the heroes and villains.

[Amazon]

CASIO CA53W-1 Watch with Calculator

You can spot a geek by the kind of watch he wears. If you see him wearing a watch like this, he's a numbers geek. If this man is your friend, get him laid immediately. And steal his watch. If you are not his friend, punch him. It's called tough love.


[Amazon]

Star Trek Transporter Room Playset

If only the transporter were real. I would transport Felicia Day onto my lap, while transporting my wife into World of Warcraft, where she can terrorize geeks with her troll features and hot hog breath. Felicia would bounce up and down on my lap until she raised the sword of excalibur in my pants. This would make me happy. Gotta go. The wife is choking on a ham sandwich the size of her head.

[Star Trek Transporter set]

BioShock 2 Big Daddy Plush Doll

Jesus! That looks like what I wake up next to every morning. This is what my morning beer is all about. But if for some reason you like the bejesus scared out of you, then he's only $23.16.

[Amazon]

E.T. Macbook Pro Skin Vinyl Decal Sticker

Remember E.T. The alien with the Extra Testicle that tried to go all pedo on the Earth kid? Well now you can display him on your fancy MacBook Pro. I'm sure you and Steve Jobs will be very happy as you lose $14.45 and he sits in a plush office blowing himself.

[Amazon]